Just when I thought I'd read it all . . . I received an email from a concerned friend with a subject line of, "Fwd: Fw: Fwd: FW: New Spider — deadly." From the long string of forwards, I could tell this one was a hot topic. Turned out it was a warning about a new strain of spider called the "Two-Striped Telamonia" — said to like cold, damp, dark places, and specifically — the underside of toilet seats. Several victims received fatal bites on their buttocks; readers were advised to start checking under public toilet seats before sitting down — and to forward the email to those they care about. It sounded fishy, and a quick visit to Snopes confirmed that this is indeed a hoax. Rest assured . . . a spider under the seat should be the least of your worries in a public restroom.